Running
by Khentkawes
Summary: He has been running away his whole life and he never even realized it. JackDaniel friendship. Maybe slight DV towards the end. Spans seasons 8 to 10.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Running

Summary: He has been running away his whole life and he never even realized it. JackDaniel friendship. Maybe slight DV towards the end. Spans seasons 8 to 10.

Spoilers: Lost City, New Order, The Movie, Forever in a Day, The Curse, Meridian, early season 9, and Momento Mori.

Category: Missing Scene, Drama, Angst, Friendship

Author's Notes: This is a series of three different scenes from three different perspectives at three different times. They are all directly related, but each has a different mood to it. They take place at the beginning of season 8, the beginning of season 9, and in season 10.

* * *

At first I thought Jack was just being petulant and I regretted telling him that he could do whatever he wanted when he became a general. Obviously, I hadn't thought of this particular scenario when I said those words.

"Daniel, you and I both know what this is really about, and it has nothing to do with intellectual curiosity, or the origin of humanity, or the fact that you are Earth's 'expert' on the Ancients. It has nothing to do with all that meaning of life stuff, you're always going on about." He stops for a moment and looks me square in the eye. "This is about running away."

I feel like I have been smacked between the eyes when Jack says those words, and for a moment I can't even understand what he means, let alone try to formulate a rebuttal. That hesitation is all the opening that Jack needs.

"It's about _you_ running away, Daniel. Again. You'll try and deny it, but luckily for both of us, I know you better than that."

I think that this might just be the longest period of time that Jack has ever managed to stun me into complete speechlessness.

"Daniel, the last time you ran away, I let you, because I thought it was what you needed to do." At that I am about to reply, because I wasn't running away from anything. I told Jack before I ascended that I wasn't giving up, I was just trying to make a difference by following a different path. But before I can say any of this, Jack sees my indignation and continues with his point. "I may not have liked it, but I understood that you needed to find yourself again and explore every opportunity presented to you. I hated it, but I also knew it was the right thing for you at the time." I feel a bit more surprised at that, pleasantly surprised somehow, but still, Jack refuses to give me time to recover. "But this time Daniel, this time you're just running away. You think if you're the first one to bolt than maybe you won't get hurt. Well, this time, I won't let you get away with it."

Jack stands from his chair and looks down at me, eyes burning with some unreadable emotion. "I'm the general, Daniel, and I say that you are not going to Atlantis. You are going to stay right here, and that is final. Request for transfer is irrefutably denied, Doctor Jackson. You are dismissed." He says the words in such a clipped, official sounding voice that I wonder when my best friend was replaced by this utterly professional general.

I look up questioningly, wondering if he really meant the tone as well as the words. His face is almost cold, completely emotionless. I see that he really is serious and I wonder how that new uniform managed to create a new attitude as well. I begin to realize that if I don't accept his dismissal with typical military decorum, I might just find him kicking my ass right out the door.

I stand slowly and slink to the door, still in shock over the transformation I just witnessed. I'm so stunned that I can't even think through the consequences of Jack's refusal, but slowly it hits me that he really won't let me leave. He has the power and authority to take this opportunity away from me.

I am halfway through the door, preparing to close it behind me, when his voice stops me, and suddenly he's back to being the friend again instead of the general. Funny how I've already separated them into two distinct entities, even though it's been little more than a month since Jack took over from Doctor Weir.

"Daniel?" I stop in the doorway, looking back hesitantly, knowing full well that my uncertainty and confusion are painfully obvious to someone who can read me as well as Jack can. "When you're ready to be honest with me, I promise I'll listen."

I still have no idea what to say to that. I imagine my look is one of childlike confusion, because for all the world I feel like a child who was just disciplined for something that he didn't even know he had done wrong. I nod vaguely and close the door behind me.

For a moment, I simply stand in the hallway feeling lost. Lost and utterly baffled. I have no idea what to do about Jack's decision. I consider talking to Sam and Teal'c. Maybe they will be able to talk some sense into him. They were both on leave while I was in Antarctica, but I'm pretty sure they should be back by now. Weren't they scheduled to be back last week? I realize that I'm not even sure when I last spoke to them. Everything has moved so quickly since our search for the lost city, Anubis' attack on Earth, the negotiations with the system lords, the battle with Fifth and the Replicators, and now the research in Antarctica…

"Sir? Is there something I can do for you?" The haze clears and I find myself looking at a slightly concerned technician on his way to the control room. He has stopped in front of me, waiting for an answer to his question, but for the life of me I can't remember his name and then I wonder if I ever knew. With all the changes around here lately, he might be new, except that he seems to know who I am.

I glance quickly at his uniform and try to sound relaxed. "No, sergeant. Everything's fine," I say as I start to walk away.

"Are you sure you're all right, sir?"

"Yes, I'm fine, sergeant. Thank you."

Right now I really need to get out of this base and clear my head. All thoughts of talking to Sam and Teal'c vanish. I need to get out of here. I've spent so much time in this base over the last seven years, and right now it all seems tied to my past when I thought that my future was in Atlantis. Right now, these gray walls seem too much like a prison and I just need to escape.

* * *

I've lost count of how many laps I've made around the track. I had paced the house, I had tried to work, generally driving myself to distraction before I finally realized that nothing I did would help. I couldn't stop thinking about my confrontation with Jack, and even though I had left the base, I still couldn't escape. I had hoped that the physical exertion would clear my mind, that it would work off some of the frustration that had been bubbling for days now, like a pot that just refused to boil over. So I grabbed a pair of jogging shoes and went out to the track, hoping it would give me some clarity, or at least tire me out to the point where I could relax.

I hear the sound of my feet hitting the ground and each impact serves to punctuate my frustration. I keep moving, constantly circling the track as though it will somehow solve my problems.

Jack had said that he wouldn't let me run off to Atlantis, but at the time I had thought that he was joking. I had thought it was just part of our normal banter. After all, at the time, we had no idea where Atlantis was or how to get there. I had insisted on joining Elizabeth's research team, and since they did need a translator who could read Ancient, there was really no way that Jack could say no. Of course he did emphasize that it was only a temporary assignment, but at the time, I didn't give that much thought either.

And now, now that we've finally figured out how to get to Atlantis, Jack refuses to let me join the expedition. And his explanation is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard.

I'm running away? Running away from what? I almost growl in frustration and increase my pace just a bit, racing around the next corner.

I'm furious with Jack for what he said. He thought I was running away when I chose to ascend. He admitted that he understood why I had to try, but he still thinks I was running away. After all this time, does he really think so little of me? Does he truly believe that I would just run away from my problems?

_You're running away again, Daniel. You'll try and deny it, but luckily for both of us, I know you better than that._

The toe of my shoe catches on an uneven spot on the track and I almost trip, but quickly regain my balance.

I've always believed that Jack knew me better than anyone. It was frightening at first, the way Jack seemed to instinctively know what I was thinking. It worked well for us, most of the time, and it certainly wasn't a one-way street. We always seemed to be just a little more in tune with each other than was normal, and that was what made our relationship work. It was one of the things I missed in the last year or two before I ascended. Somehow that connection seemed to fade a bit, but I figured it was just another result of the changes in SG-1 and the SGC as a whole. After all, nothing ever stays the same.

But if Jack really does know me as well as he seems to think, than where did this crap about running away come from? What the hell did he mean by that? He said I wasn't being honest, but what does he expect me to say?

The hurt and the frustration are starting to leak away and I am forced to consider what Jack said, or rather what he didn't say. Why would he think I'm running away?

Answers come in flashes:

"_So, you're just giving up?" Jack asked. _ The words still hurt.

"_No. No, I'm not giving up. Believe me."_ I meant it, but the sadness was still there.

The memory shifts, moving backwards.

"_What are you going to do?"_ Those words were uttered by a dream, but it still sounds like Sam's voice.

_"Well, hopefully, I'm going somewhere far away…to the most remote dig I can find."_

I know that without Sha're's warning, that was exactly what would have happened. I would have left. I remember the dream and the way Jack had tried to sound so professional as he said good-bye.

_"It's been a pleasure doing business with you…Doctor Jackson." The casual words were betrayed by the tight embrace and the tinge of regret in Jack's voice._

Another shift, and I remember packing a single suitcase, preparing to leave again.

"_This is the work you've been doing? This is what was so important that you were willing to sacrifice our relationship for it?" Sarah actually gave a bitter laugh. "You'll be laughed right out of academia, Daniel. You're sacrificing your career for nothing." She walked out the door and cast an angry glance backwards. "I guess I should be glad that I broke things off when I did because you're a bigger fool than I ever took you for."_ I had been surprised at her anger, but not nearly as surprised as I was by Doctor Jordan's refusal to listen.

_"You can't be thinking of going through with this. No one will care what proof you think you have. Please, Daniel. Don't make a foolish decision that will only end your career."_

So I left Chicago and started over. After all, things had changed and it was time to move on. At least that's what I told myself at the time.

Suddenly another image flashes like a strobe light in my mind and I stumble, almost falling before I catch myself and come to an abrupt halt, panting for breath that is suddenly in short supply.

I remember the fear of a little boy as he saw a stone crashing down. I remember how he stood in shock for just a moment until his fear took over and he ran. He bolted from the room, running away as fast as he could, instantly realizing the horrible truth that his entire world was about to change and he simply wanted to run away before it could.

My own ragged breathing breaks into my thoughts as I gasp in remembered pain. It was so long ago, but the pain is still there, not fresh and not debilitating, but still present. I screw my eyes shut and try to block it out, try to regain my composure. It was just a memory, nothing but an unwanted little memory. But even as I tell myself it is irrelevant, I know otherwise, because I realize that Jack was right. I am running away. I have been running away my whole life and I never even realized it.

* * *

The next thing I know, I'm standing on Jack's doorstep, knocking furiously. I didn't even bother to go home first, just drove straight to Jack's, knowing that he should be home by now.

When he opens the door, Jack cocks his head slightly in a gesture that few people would recognize as surprise. He raises an eyebrow and looks at me, holding the door open, but making no move to let me in.

"How did you know?" I blurt out the words without preamble.

"Know what?" Jack's clam tone should infuriate me, but it doesn't, because he knows. He knew even before I did.

I take a deep breath and then say the words. "I keep running away. Every time things change I – I guess I get scared and then I – I just run. I never really thought about it, never realized…" I have no idea where I'm going with this so I just allow the words to trail off and give Jack a hopeful look.

Jack opens the door all the way and steps aside, allowing me to enter. He closes the door behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder, gently guiding me over to the couch. I sink into the cushions and Jack sits on the coffee table so that he's facing me.

"So?" He says that word simply, but the implication is clear.

"I went running because I was angry at you and I needed to clear my head. And I just couldn't stop thinking about what you said. I'd never thought of it before, maybe I didn't want, but I ended up thinking of all the times that I've chosen to run away for one reason or another." I stare intently into his eyes, hoping he will see how deeply his words affected me. "I ascended because I thought it was the right choice. We all know that Jacob could never have healed me, but even if he could have, I was so confused at that point… I needed to find out if what I was doing really mattered, if it was really worth it."

Jack nods. "I know. For a long time, I didn't understand why you had left us. I didn't even _want_ to understand. But I do now."

I nod my acceptance of Jack's unspoken apology. Then I turn away from Jack's gaze. "But there was something else, too. Things were changing so fast, the SGC, SG-1, us, me…all of it. And that made it easier to leave. It's not the reason I left, but it did make it easier."

"Okay." Jack accepts this as well and I take a deep breath, clearing my throat for what I know has to be said next.

"But you're right. I do run away. Things change and I – I don't know how to deal with that, so I just…run. I was running from Sarah and Doctor Jordan when I left Chicago, and I was running from my ruined career when I accepted Catherine's offer and came to work on the Stargate." I stand up and walk a few feet away, trying to get my bearings. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "Jack, you have no idea how close I came to running away after Sha're died. If she hadn't sent me that message through the hand device, I would have. In the dream, I did. I tried to run away and I never wanted to look back."

When I look back, Jack's eyes are filled with acceptance and that confuses me.

"And this time?" he asks. I can only shrug, because I'm not sure I want to consider this. I move back to the couch and collapse into it. "You wanna know what I think?" He doesn't wait for an answer. "I think that things are changing again and you wanted to leave while you still had the chance. Hammond's gone, I've been promoted, Carter's taking over – "

"It's not that." I'm already shaking my head as I interrupt. "I trust Sam. She'll be fine leading SG-1. And I wanted you to accept the promotion, so – "

"Daniel, will you let me finish!" I stop and stare. I realize my mouth is hanging open and quickly shut it. "Thank you. What I was going to say is that you've been through a lot this year what with the whole descension thing, and your ex-girlfriend, and let's not even mention South America. You've just adjusted to being un-ascended again, and I know that was more difficult than you ever let on." I duck my head in embarrassment but can feel a slight grin. Sometimes, Jack is far more perceptive than I give him credit for. "So let me just take a guess here. In the past few years you've been through plenty of drastic life-changes, usually ones that were forced on you by other people, and this time, when things started to change, you decided to take control. On some level, you decided that if you left before everyone else changed, than you wouldn't get hurt. Instead of waiting for SG-1 to drift apart, you'd be the first one to just pick up and leave." I can't help it. I meet his eyes with a look that must hold pure unadulterated shock. "Am I right?" he asks.

"You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

He gives me a sheepish grin. "It must be the promotion. It's starting to get to my head."

"Maybe you just have too much time on your hands."

"Well, you know, things are pretty quiet at the base what with you kids all off doing your own thing. Of course, Carter and T both got back last week, and since I'm not letting Elizabeth keep you…"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be back soon enough." I try to smile, but I'm sure it looks just a bit forced.

"Daniel, I'm not saying you'll never go to Atlantis…"

"I know. And you're right." I sigh. "I can't keep running like this."

He smiles. "Of course I'm right. I'm the General. I'm always right."

I accept his attempt to lighten the mood and reply in kind. "Now, I don't recall anyone ever saying that."

"You did."

"No," I raise one finger to stop him. "No, I said that when you were a general you could do whatever you wanted. And in retrospect, I should have just kept my mouth shut."

He chuckles. "So, can I count on having all three of my top advisers around for a little longer?"

I think for a moment, but then nod. "Yeah, Jack. I think we can manage that."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey!" My loud greeting startles Daniel, forcing him to look up from his pile of work. I give him a cocky grin as I stand in the doorway of his office wearing my dress uniform and a pair of shiny new stars on each shoulder. I never really thought I'd live to see this day. It really is incredible how life seems to work itself out. Daniel looks confused as he glances from me to the pile of work on his desk. No doubt he's trying to finish as many outstanding projects as possible before he leaves. Which is the reason I'm here. "What's this I hear about a transfer?" I ask, as casually as I can.

Daniel lets out an over-exasperated sigh and turns to face me. "Jack, we've been over this."

"Yes we have. Last year as a matter of fact." I enter the room and walk up to him, leaning my hip against the edge of his desk.

"This isn't the same thing," he says with confidence.

"Isn't it?" I offer the words like a challenge. That was probably a mistake.

"Hey, you left first."

"Not the point." I look away slightly, amazed at how quickly he managed to sidetrack this discussion. "So, you're really going?"

"If Landry approves the transfer, yeah."

"Actually," I break eye contact to hide my guilty expression, even though I'm sure he'll notice it anyway, "Hank was going to sign off on it this morning. I asked him to wait a few hours." Daniel raises one eyebrow and I look around the room in a blatant attempt to hide from the look in his eyes. Eventually I spot a ball-point pen and begin fiddling with it to divert my attention. I don't like talking about these sorts of things. It's too serious, too emotional. But I've always found it easier to deflect that emotion if I have something to fiddle with. Daniel usually rolls his eyes and makes some comment about hyperactive colonels; although, I think he understands the reasoning behind my antics.

I take a deep breath before speaking, eyes still glued on the pen in my hand. "You know, I can't stop you this time, but…"

"Jack." His voice interrupts me and he waits until I look him in the eye before he continues. "I'm not running." I don't respond, still flipping the pen over and over. He must see that I'm not convinced, because he takes a deep breath and I know he's about to launch into a long and complex argument for why he's right. "Look, Teal'c needs to be with the New Jaffa Nation. They need him right now, and we've always known where his priorities lie. You have this great new promotion – "

"Great?" I ask skeptically.

Daniel glares at me over the top of his glasses. He may be the only one who can see through my act. The truth is, I want this promotion for many reasons. Yes, it's good for the program, and it's good for my career, but I also want it for myself. It's time to move on, I've been feeling that for some time now. I want the chance to step back from the battles we've fought, and maybe even have a somewhat normal life. Daniel and I have talked about this actually. The last time I was offered a promotion, I called an SG-1 meeting to help me decide if I should take the position. This time, I talked to Daniel alone. Teal'c and Carter were already contemplating other positions, but I wanted to make sure that Daniel understood before I made a decision. Consequently, he's the only one who knows exactly why I took the job. Daniel continues to glare until I raise my hands in mock surrender and he continues.

"Sam's got her own issues to work out, and I'm glad she's taking the time to deal with them. Besides, research is her passion. It's much better for her than a command position."

I nod in agreement because he's right. Not surprisingly, he's analyzed this situation from every possible angle. "And you?" I ask cautiously.

At that, Daniel actually smiles. "Well, things are changing for all of us." He cocks his head in consideration of his own words and I wait with faintly concealed curiosity. "I think, I'm okay with that. And this assignment to Atlantis is just a temporary thing. With the Daedalus up and running, there will be a lot more trips between Earth and Atlantis. You could even come and visit now and then."

"That goes both ways, you know."

"I know." He pauses. "This really is for the best Jack. I'm okay with it. Change is a good thing, right?"

I smile and clap a hand on his shoulder. "Right." We both stand. "So, no running away?"

"Nope." He shakes his head. "Just taking a little jog over to Pegasus for a while."

"Okay, no problem then."

"Right."

"So, lunch?"

Daniel merely smiles at the sudden change of subject. "Sure."

I smile as we walk out the door, side by side. Yeah, everything is gonna be just fine.

* * *

"So, I understand there's been a change in the forecast." Daniel's head jerks up at the sound of my voice, and he tries not to look surprised. I smother a chuckle. He really should be getting used to my interruptions. Did he seriously think that just because I was in Washington, I would stop checking up on him? This time Daniel's sitting in the briefing room across from Colonel Mitchell and Vala Mal Doran, waiting for Landry to arrive. He was staring at a mission file when I came in. I hover in the doorway as Mitchell jumps to attention. Vala stops in mid-sentence and I can't be sure, but I have the feeling she was in the middle of some kind of joke at Daniel's expense. A joke he was surely trying to ignore by focusing on that mission file.

"Change? What kind of change?" He goes for innocent and confused, but I'm not buying it. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Vala exchange confused glances.

"Well, the picnic was rained out," I say casually, as if I'm discussing the weather, which we both know I'm not. "And the clouds are promising some pretty spectacular lightning bolts."

He nods appreciatively. He keeps telling me that he's okay with change, but we both know that this isn't the kind of change he was hoping for. He lost SG-1 and Atlantis, and in exchange he got the Ori and Vala Mal Doran with her funky Goa'uld handcuffs. Talk about a lousy trade.

"Um, sir?" Mithcell's confusion is evident as he turns to address me. "The last time I was topside, it was sunny and eighty-two. Not a cloud in the sky."

"The Colorado sky, maybe," I say. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Daniel cover a laugh with one hand.

My attention isn't diverted for long. "So," I turn back to Daniel, who winces slightly in anticipation. Vala leans forward, seeming a little too interested in my conversation with Daniel, but maybe she just isn't sure what to make of our relationship. Honestly, I can't blame her, because most of the time I don't know what to make of it either. I focus on Daniel and give him a wicked grin. "This storm front kinda changes your plans, doesn't it?"

I can see Daniel bristle at my smug tone, his eyes shooting daggers in my general direction. I know that he still plans on going to Atlantis the next chance he gets. We talked about it the last time I was here. But that was before we realized Daniel was still linked to Vala. And my spies tell me that Mitchell has been pressuring Daniel to rejoin SG-1. According to the aforementioned spies, Daniel has been doing his best to avoid Mitchell and Vala, which is somewhat difficult since he passes out if he gets too far away from the alien woman. I assume that his attempts to ignore the two of them are related to his adamant refusal to accept Mitchell's offer. But I'm siding with the colonel on this one. And I don't want to see Daniel pass up an opportunity just because he's dead set on running off to Atlantis.

"I assure you, it's only a temporary delay," Daniel says, but the conviction seems forced.

I raise an eyebrow in challenge. "Can you say - denial," I respond, provoking another glare from Daniel. He seems to be doing a lot of that lately. I wonder if it's a side-effect of spending too much time with Vala.

My smug attitude has the desired effect of infuriating my troublesome archeologist.

"We'll see about that," he says. Mitchell and Vala look as though they think we've lost our minds and I barely suppress a delighted chuckle. There's nothing I love more than confusing the newbies, and although he would probably deny it, I think Daniel enjoys it just as much as I do

Nonetheless, I must not be deterred from my purpose. "There's no picnic," I point out.

Daniel concedes with a frown. "No."

"No parade."

"No."

"Good weather to go for a run?" I ask. And there it is. The loaded question.

"It looks like it." Daniel looks me in the eye and I wait patiently for him to give me the answer I want. "But maybe I'll just wait around for a bit." He smiles tentatively. "You never know when the forecast will change again."

My own smile breaks lose. "Right. Great. Well, then, I'm glad we're all on the same page here." Daniel laughs at that. I glance at Mitchell and Vala and note their utter confusion. It's quite clear that Daniel and I are the only people who have the slightest clue what page we're on, let alone what script we're working from. I share a conspiratorial grin with my best friend before clapping my hands together briskly, signaling that the discussion is over. "So…carry on, people. I have a plane to catch." I move towards the door of the briefing room, but turn back briefly. "Daniel. I'm glad we had this little discussion."

He grins and gives a half wave. "See you around, Jack."

I wave as I head out the door. "Yeah, sure, you betcha."

I'm grinning madly as I leave the room. From behind me I hear Mitchell ask, "What was that about?"

Daniel's voice responds with mock innocence. "How should I know?"

There is a beat before I hear Daniel chuckle and my grin widens. I would bet money that Mitchell will have a certain archeologist on his team before the end of the month. But of course, Daniel's not quite done playing hard to get.

I whistle slightly as I stroll down the hall. Yes, change can definitely be a good thing. It's just a matter of learning how to take it all in stride.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't like being forced to hide like this. I much prefer running – something that I've had a lot of experience with lately. When I came into this warehouse, I was simply hoping to avoid those men who were chasing me. I don't even know why they are chasing me, I just know that I am in trouble – again – and the fear that has been niggling at the back of my mind is threatening to overwhelm me.

I hear the grate of sliding metal followed by soft footsteps, and realize that I'm no longer alone. Obviously I should never have stopped running. I'm much better at running than I am at hiding and now I'm trapped.

I've taken up position behind a storage container, crouching low to the ground. I peer around a corner, careful to avoid being spotted, and try to assess how many of my pursuers are here. I see four, all standing just inside the doorway. But that doesn't mean there aren't others. All of them are carrying weapons. I notice belatedly that the man I captured earlier is with them. No doubt he helped them track me here.

Two of the men call out, hoping that I'll surrender. The fear rises another notch, tension shooting through my body. I'm prepared to flee the first chance I get.

A deep voice calls out a warning and then chaos erupts. I hear gunfire, a metallic zing along with the quick explosive sounds of bullets overlapping. People scramble for cover, and my skin tingles with anticipation. I pull out the handgun I'd taken from my last captor and decide to make use of the distraction.

Peering out from my hiding spot, my gaze is drawn to the open door, the bright light, and the promise of freedom. If I were completely honest with myself, I would admit that freedom is never going to be an option for me now. They will never stop chasing me. The most I can hope for at the moment is escape and a chance to run again. I grab hold of that hope and make a dash for the door.

A man steps into my path and I pull up short. I raise my gun as he raises his own weapon. It's different than the one I hold, but it looks familiar, and even if I'm not sure exactly what it is, the way he holds it defensively in front of him, pointed directly at me, makes it's purpose clear.

"Get out of my way," I say, my voice shaking just a bit. The man doesn't move, doesn't speak, he simply shakes his head slowly, assessing me with his eyes. I should shoot him right now, but I don't. I try to sound serious and dangerous, but that slight waver in my voice won't go away. "Get out of my way or I will shoot you."

He doesn't appear to believe me, but he does move his weapon away, holding it in a lose grip before he slowly drops it to the floor. He stands in front of me, keeping his hands in sight, but refusing to move, effectively blocking my only escape.

Then he speaks, gently, soothingly, almost pleadingly. "You don't remember who you are, but I do. You won't shoot."

I should be angry that he thinks he knows me better than I know myself. I think I would be angry if I wasn't so scared. And somehow he's right. I would have shot him the moment he stepped into my path if it weren't for this strange feeling of…something. It almost feels as if he does know me. And I want to trust him even though I know that trust is a dangerous thing.

He stands unmoving, and although I don't know why, I can't imagine this man trying to hurt me. He stares back at me with a look I can't identify…something almost like compassion.

"If I let you go, I know you're going to make yourself disappear. And you've been running so long it's almost second nature to you." His voice is unbearably soft, his blue eyes filled with understanding, as if he knows exactly how I feel. As if he's somehow been where I am now. "You don't remember it, but you made a decision to stop running. It's over. Now it's time to come home."

The flashbacks come and I'm not sure, but I think I'm beginning to remember.

"Daniel," I whisper his name and feel the tears slide down my cheeks. Even more than the fragmented memories, it's the understanding in his eyes that makes me believe him. I'm not even aware that I've lowered the gun until I feel his fingers gently taking it from my hand before he reaches out. I don't resist as he pulls me close to him, and even as I hear approaching footsteps, I somehow know that I don't have to run away this time.

I slip into his office when he isn't paying close enough attention. He's too engrossed in his work to notice, but I'm here because I need to know what he meant.

* * *

"Daniel, can I ask you a question?" He looks up from the translation he's working on and I can see a flash of déjà vu in his eyes. I realize that this is exactly how I started that discussion about his wife when we were on the Ori ship not too long ago. I continue quickly, before he can object. "Back in the warehouse, you said something about how I was always running, and that I'd decided to stop." He looks a bit surprised, but nods to acknowledge that he remembers. "Why did you say that? I don't mean that it isn't true, but…"

"How did I know?" I nod helplessly. He sighs a bit. "I guess because I've been there. I know what it's like to always feel like you're on the run, trying to stay just one step ahead of the next disaster in your life, afraid to settle down because you think that as soon as you do, something will go wrong…" He trails off and I see the distance in his eyes. I move a bit closer and place a hand on his arm, pulling him back to the present. He looks up at me with a small, almost sad smile. "I guess in some ways, I understand where you're coming from."

I pull back, because I think he needs the space, and to be honest, so do I. "You don't seem like the kind of person who would run away from a fight," I tell him, surprising myself with the honesty of my response.

He gives a slightly brittle laugh. "Yeah, you're right. Normally, I'm not. But for a long time, I wasn't real good at staying in one place." He shrugs. "After a while, moving around feels like second nature and it gets hard to imagine ever staying in one place." I can definitely relate to that. Until I came here, I was pretty much resigned to being a wanderer for the rest of my days. But that was before I met Daniel… I ponder that for a moment, but this time it's his hand on my arm that brings my gaze back to his. "Vala, I really am proud of you, of what you've accomplished in the time you've been with us." I know that I'm blushing and can hardly believe it. Normally, I'm the one who makes him blush, but the honest praise and the sincerity in his voice is something that I'm not used to – from Daniel or from anyone else.

"So, Daniel, are you saying that we really are more alike than you've been letting on?" I ask teasingly. I'm sincerely curious, but I also need to lighten the mood before I get any deeper into this conversation than I already am.

He winces slightly, but it turns into a sardonic grin. "Uh – um…well, maybe in some ways." He raises one finger accusingly. "But if you tell anyone that I admitted that, I'll deny it to my dying breath."

I laugh. "Oh, of course. That's perfectly understandable. I wouldn't dream of letting on that we might have something in common." He looks both skeptical and confused, which is an adorably cute expression on him. "After all, it's much more fun to tease you when everyone thinks that we're constantly bickering over our drastically different ideals." My innocent grin surprises a laugh out of him as he rolls his eyes in amusement.

Then he pushes his chair back and stands up briskly. "How about we go get some lunch?" The suggestion takes me a bit by surprise, but I move to follow him.

"Sure. But this doesn't make up for that date you still owe me."

He stares back incredulously. "I told you, it wasn't a date. And neither is this for the record. This is lunch. Nothing more."

"Of course, darling," I smile sweetly and he shakes his head in frustration. "Whatever you say."

* * *

Author's Note: This story was both a form of therapy and an experiment for me. Although, I'm not sure if the experiment part was entirely successful. Either way, thank you to those who read and enjoyed it, and a big thank you to those of you who reviewed.


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